THE FLORIDA CODE

THE FLORIDA CODE



When giving directions in Florida, you should
Always start with the words, "take I-75 or take
I-95..."

If you're a snowbird or a non-working retiree, you
Absolutely cannot drive between the hours of 6 AM and 10 AM and 4 PM and 7 PM. This is considered to be rush hour and you're not in any rush. No exceptions.

Freeways can only go north and south. Not east and west..

Tolls are a fact of life down here, the state has to make
Money, so deal with it!

I-275 will always be under construction... that's the
Law, there is nothing anyone can do about it, period!

A1A and ALT A1A are the same streets.

Traffic lights aren't timed and never will be.

We measure the distance you travel in time, not miles.

If you travel more than 5-10 miles on any road in any part
Of Florida without seeing an orange 'Bob's Barricade', you're lost!

If you miss your exit on I-75, I - 95, I-4 or I-275, its perfectly
Acceptable to back up.

There is a city called The Villages where 83,000 old people
Drive golf carts and dance in the streets.


Every street in Florida has both a name and a number (i.e. Adamo = 60th,, McCall = 776) just for the hell of it . . . and for the pleasure we get from the reaction of visitors when we give them directions.

Once the light turns green, only 3 cars can go through the
Intersection -- Eight more go through on yellow, and 4 more on red.

Know the difference between Sun Pass , Sun Fest, Sun-Sentinel, and Sun Trust.

Flip flops, tank tops and baggy shorts are also known as
business casual.

Your blinker means nothing.

English is our first and second language.

It is perfectly acceptable to brag about the size of your
Generator.

We have alligators here in Florida and they WILL bite
You... Don't be stupid and try to feed or pet one.

When a hurricane is headed our way, even though you have
Advanced warning and you are told to be prepared, you're
Not a true Floridian unless you wait until the absolute last
Minute to go to Home Depot to pick up plywood or to Publix
To stock up water, ice, beer, and potato chips.

You know how to spell Okeechobee. There is an Okeechobee
Blvd , Street, Avenue, Town, Lake and County.

A true Floridian does NOT own a boat. They make friends
With someone who already owns one. That way you don't
Have to deal with any of the headaches.

You weren't born here. If you were, you're angry
That everyone else moved here.

There's always a Walgreens across the street
From a CVS on almost every corner - with more being built
Every day.


When picking up a woman on South Beach , always
Check for an Adams apple.

It's normal to sweat when you are putting up your
Holiday decorations.

Jupiter is a city, not a planet.

Seniors have to do their errands during the weekdays. Not
Weeknights or weekends - that's for the working
Folks.

There are three types of dolphins: Mahi-mahi, Flipper, and
Also one called a football team.

You can't say; 'this is how we did it up
North. If you think that way, then go back. Just
Remember I - 75 &I - 95 run both ways.

No matter what they decide in Tallahassee you will never,
Ever be able to figure out your property taxes.

Learn how to dress in layers. It will be 95 degrees outside
But inside any restaurant or business it's 65
Degrees.

There are three things you will need to survive a Florida
Winter: A long sleeved T-shirt, sunscreen and the ability to
Mock all those extremely pale' visitors' with the
Bright pink ' Florida tans'

The same neighbor who smiles at you every day will be the
First one to rat you out if you are violating water
Restrictions.


See Ya At The Beach...