Dear Abby,
I am a crack dealer in Columbus, Ohio , who has recently been
diagnosed as a carrier of the HIV virus. My parents live in
a suburb of Worthington and one of my sisters, who lives in
Dublin , is married to a transvestite.
My father and mother have recently been arrested for
growing and selling marijuana and are currently dependent on
my other two sisters, who are prostitutes in Grove City .
I have two brothers. One is currently serving a non-parole
life sentence in Lucasville for the murder of a teenage boy
in 1994. The other brother is currently in jail awaiting
trial on charges of sexual misconduct with his three children.
I have recently become engaged to marry a former Thai
prostitute who lives in Atlanta and is still a part time
"working girl" in a brothel. All things considered, my main
problem is this. I love my fiancée and look forward to
bringing her into the family and I certainly want to be totally honest with her.
Should I tell her about my cousin who is a Michigan fan?
Signed,
Worried About My Reputation
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